And the Ichiro Haiku Contest Winner Is…

Kyle Lafreniere, who submitted this gem…

Alright, so maybe Ichiro’s isn’t even meeting expectations this year, but considering his otherwise stellar decade in the American bigs, this haiku rings true. Plus, I dig how it captures Ichiro’s international career arc in such a simple, concise style. Congrats, Kyle — contact me to collect your prize.

Overall, the Ichiro Haiku Contest received a total of 31 entries, not counting a couple of overtly racist haikus sent in by some stupid asshole. As for the other also-rans…

The very first entry, posted by “Roger,” would’ve been the shoo-in, but it lost on two technicalities… Can you spot them?

August in Kansas City
it is hotter than two rats
fucking in a wool sock

First, it misquotes Ichiro’s original misquote in his infamous Bob Costas interview: “August in Kansas City, it’s hotter than two rats in a fucking wool sock.” More accurately, it corrects Ichiro’s misquote, but Ichiro’s misplacement of “fucking” makes the phrase all the more entertaining… Second, it doesn’t fit haiku’s 7/5/7 syllable pattern, so it would’ve been disqualified anyhow. Still, it cracked me up.

Some other favorites…

Swift with bat in hand

Japan’s national treasure

Home is in right field

Torturing pitchers

with death by a thousand hits

Ichiro is feared.

Throw your best pitches

I will hit them anyway

I am Ichiro

Our man from Japan
Still lacks a World Series ring
Blame Nintendo chiefs.

Japan’s native son
Has great speed and quite an arm
We love 51!

drag bunts, slap hits, drives
spider wall thief snags flies
rocket arm, runner out

Thanks everybody who entered; also thanks to Paul at the kickass Uni Watch, whose link to my contest page generated the bulk of these entries. Finally, thanks to the lovely Eliza for the quickie Photoshop job above.

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2 responses to “And the Ichiro Haiku Contest Winner Is…

  1. Congrats, Kyle!
    And thanks, Steve. That was a fun contest.

  2. Pingback: My Favorite Super Ichiro Crazy Posts of 2011 | Super Ichiro Crazy!

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