Ted S. Warren / AP Photo
Not sure what’s happening here, but the site where I found this is NSFW.
Otto Greule Jr. / Getty Images
There are also versions in Cambodian and Vietnamese… See my entire collection of Mariners pocket schedules on flickr.
Elaine Thompson / AP Photo
I don’t remember where I found this.
Elaine Thompson / AP Photo
“Ichiroll” is a cutesy name for a sushi roll you can get at Safeco Field’s Ricenroll concession stand, near section 137.
It’s just a spicy tuna roll.
UPDATE – 8/30/11
Here’s some kid that was shown on TV during a recent M’s game…
Elaine Thompson / AP Photo
I’d never seen these ’til a few days ago, when I came across ’em on eBay with about 90 seconds left in the auction. As the lone bidder, I won the deck for a mere $4.99 (plus $5.50 shipping). They’re from Japan, issued sometime in the ’90s, and sponsored by Nissan — perhaps a ballpark giveaway?
Below, on the left, is how the backs look (sorta like a pinup from a Japanese Tiger Beat). The joker cards (right) look like a silhouette of Bart Simpson taking an airbag to the face…
That Nissan Ichiro airbag logo also appeared in this TV ad from an earlier post. A sampling of the other face cards…
And a close-up of the little logo that’s on every card, reading: “Come on! Over the top! You can do everything.”
Ace.
Elaine Thompson / AP Photo
Next: Game 131 vs. Chicago, 7:10 Saturday.
For the record, it’s listed as “Toppstown Ichiro 1/1 Negative Art Card,” found here.
Another new addition to my collection, a semi-accurate 3-D take on the 1969 Topps design.
June 25, 2010: 1-for-3 in 8-3 loss at Milwaukee.
Jason Miller / Getty Images
Mark Duncan / AP Photo
Kyle Lafreniere, who submitted this gem…
Alright, so maybe Ichiro’s isn’t even meeting expectations this year, but considering his otherwise stellar decade in the American bigs, this haiku rings true. Plus, I dig how it captures Ichiro’s international career arc in such a simple, concise style. Congrats, Kyle — contact me to collect your prize.
Overall, the Ichiro Haiku Contest received a total of 31 entries, not counting a couple of overtly racist haikus sent in by some stupid asshole. As for the other also-rans…
The very first entry, posted by “Roger,” would’ve been the shoo-in, but it lost on two technicalities… Can you spot them?
August in Kansas City
it is hotter than two rats
fucking in a wool sock
First, it misquotes Ichiro’s original misquote in his infamous Bob Costas interview: “August in Kansas City, it’s hotter than two rats in a fucking wool sock.” More accurately, it corrects Ichiro’s misquote, but Ichiro’s misplacement of “fucking” makes the phrase all the more entertaining… Second, it doesn’t fit haiku’s 7/5/7 syllable pattern, so it would’ve been disqualified anyhow. Still, it cracked me up.
Some other favorites…
Swift with bat in hand
Japan’s national treasure
Home is in right fieldTorturing pitchers
with death by a thousand hits
Ichiro is feared.Throw your best pitches
I will hit them anyway
I am IchiroOur man from Japan
Still lacks a World Series ring
Blame Nintendo chiefs.Japan’s native son
Has great speed and quite an arm
We love 51!drag bunts, slap hits, drives
spider wall thief snags flies
rocket arm, runner out
Thanks everybody who entered; also thanks to Paul at the kickass Uni Watch, whose link to my contest page generated the bulk of these entries. Finally, thanks to the lovely Eliza for the quickie Photoshop job above.
At Bats: 3
Runs: 1
Hits, Game/Season: 1/142
Runs Batted In: 1
Walks: 2
Strikeouts: 0
Left on Base: 0
Average: .269
Box
Notes: Played DH again, grounding out, lining out (then the earthquake hit), singled to right (and subsequently scored), and was intentionally walked twice.
Next: Game 128 at Cleveland, 4:05 today; it’s game two of a double-header.
